The other day I was reading a magazine (Real Simple if you must know, and I don’t care what you say, it is AWESOME,) and I encountered a feature on makeup. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff for a magazine, I realize, but this one had a twist: “show our makeup artist all the stuff you already own and she’ll take it and show you how to create a new look without buying anything new.”

This was kind of a refreshing change- how often does a magazine feature a story that doesn’t subtly (or not so subtly) encourage you to go out and buy new stuff? One of the women featured in the article liked natural looking makeup- I can relate- and she was very pleased with her “after” look, particularly because it was fast/easy. “I could do this on the train on the way to work!” she said.

And I didn’t think much of it, because no one actually DOES their makeup on the train to work, right? That’s just a way of communicating how easy/fast/simple/not involving a lot of specialized equipment the process was, right?

WRONG. This morning, on the train on the way to work, I watched a (young! beautiful! totally not needing this much makeup!) woman go through the most painstaking, involved, multi-stepped makeup routine I have ever seen on someone who wasn’t getting married. It involved: concealer, some sort of “Brightening” product, pressed powder foundation, loose powder blush, bronzer, liquid eyeliner, two colors of eyeshadow, three coats of mascara, two coats of lip gloss, and some sort of loose translucent powder to finish.

Did you catch all that? Especially the part about the loose powder blush? And the liquid eyeliner? ON THE TRAIN, people. If I tried to apply loose powder blush and liquid eyeliner in the comfort and relative stillness of my own bathroom, I would come out looking like a clown- I cannot fathom how one would do it on the train.

This is not the first time I have seen unusual train behavior. Others strange things I have seen people do on the train include:

  • Eating soup
  • Clipping fingernails (ew)
  • Clipping TOENAILS (different time; double ew)
  • Yoga
  • Putting on tights
  • Wearing a chicken costume
  • Having sex (unconfirmed; I averted my eyes QUICKLY)

What about you, fellow commuters? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen someone do on the train?