January 2008


(I would rate this entry as wholly imprudent, yet entirely impossible to resist writing.)

Allow me to present, in their original format, some highlights from the “Interests and Activities” sections of some of the 500+ resumes I’ve reviewed over the past few weeks:

•    Whittling
•    Beer snobbery
•    Historical photograph preservation and cataloguing
•    Erstwhile racer
•    Cooking: reinterpreting old New England favorites
•    Thrill rides
•    Award-winning chili
•    Going on walks
•    Supporting causes in sub-Saharan Africa
•    Passed seminar: “Negotiating for Success I”
•    Exercise
•    Real Estate
•    Opera (performance)
•    Proficient (actively working to become fluent!) in Spanish
•    Citizen forester
•    Playing euchre
•    Wine Tasting
•    Travel (12 people)
•    Jane Austen
•    Sewing hats
•    Internet savvy
•    Marathon (personal best:  3 hrs. 45 min)
•    Satirical fiction
•    Avid reader (9 people)
•    Antique shopping
•    College and professional football enthusiast
•    Pet lover
•    Own an epiphone acoustic guitar and play it almost daily
•    Album collector: have a collection of over 200 folk albums
•    Published a letter to the editor in the Dallas Morning News
•    Entrepreneurship
•    Intramural basketball
•    Boy Scouts of America [is that an interest or activity, do you think? – Ed.]
•    Learning about other cultures, past, present, and future
•    Online poker
•    Antiquity
•    Sports memorabilia and model railroading
•    The family BBQ sauce business
•    Woody Allen films
•    Hobbies include teaching and learning
•    Fluent in English
•    Playing all styles of guitar and violin music both professionally and recreationally
•    Sky Diving, Bungee Jumping, Rappelling, White Water Rafting, Scuba Diving, Canoeing, Hiking, Mountain Biking, Skiing and Live Jam Band Music.
•    Amateur paleontology
•    Irish History 1914-1916

To anyone who might currently be on the job market, take note:  we do read the interests and activities section, and if it’s totally ridiculous, we will share it with our friends and coworkers.  And the internet.

Woman talking on her cell phone while in the bathroom stall, with noises indicating that she was simultaneously doing that mundane thing we typically use bathroom stalls for, namely peeing:

(a) Weird as hell, or  (b) “get with the times, Pseudo, everyone does that now”? 

Am I the only one who finds Web MD profoundly unhelpful?  The user interface is bad, the list of search results is often wildly off base, and it is hard to figure out how to get to the part of the page where you want to go.

But mostly, I take exception to its answer when I entered “chills and tight chest” into the symptom checker and its first guess was CHEST TUMOR.

You guys are funny with your guesses, which were all totally off but totally entertaining.  I went with the funniest/most off the wall answer that was not from someone who used to WORK AT GOOGLE  (jack, cheater) and the winner is…..Nilsa!  Nilsa, just let me know if you would like caramels or a non-sweet treat and you should expect something at your doorstep in 3-5 business days.  (For those of you who have expressed an interest in the caramel recipe, hit me up at pseudostoops@gmail.com and I’ll send it to you.  You will not be disappointed.)

So, you want to know what the email was really about that generated such a random list of links?

It was an ad for a j.crew clearance sale.  Huh?  THAT generated an ad for angry young and poor punk rock records?  Have the people at google ever been  to a j.crew?  Because they clearly have the wrong idea about what goes on there.

We had a lovely trip to California that involved several family gatherings, an obscene amount of sweets, and only one minor breakdown in tears. This is good.  I ended up caving and making another batch of the caramels, which came out perfectly, and were much appreciated. I may or may not have eaten about half of the batch when I was making them. (What? December is for gorging, January is for the soup diet. Duh.)

Now we are back. In addition to several lovely gifts, I brought home an unpleasantly persistent headcold, a nasty ingrown toenail infection (too much information?) and a new appreciation for our own apartment, where it is just the two of us. Our apartment is still trying to warm up again after being kept at a frugal 48 degrees for the duration of our absence. I plan to roast potatoes tonight.  (Go, stream of consciousness writing, go!)

As if this post was not random enough already, I am offering a contest for your amusement. If you are a gmail user, you will know about the “sponsored links” that appear in a column to the right of your emails when you open a message. As best I can tell, a google algorithm scans the email and generates a list of links that it thinks might be interesting to you based on the keywords in the message. Pasted below is a 100% accurate copy of the sponsored links that showed up next to an email I just read. (I especially like the Greek Clothing Sale- I don’t know what makes clothing Greek, particularly, but I can only hope it involves feta.)

The contest: Guess in the comments what the actual email was about that generated such a random list of links. Closest guess wins a batch of the now-infamous salted caramels (cooked to the correct temperature, so as not to destroy your dental work) mailed direct to their door. If the winner does not like candy, I will seriously question their judgment but will send an alternative (non-sugared) gift. Whee!

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