I was invited to join an academic society when I graduated from law school.

“Cool!” I thought.

“Pay us twenty-five dollars for membership!” said school.

“Pbthffffft to that,” I thought.

“Come on!  You never get invited to do stuff like this!  It’s an honor! Do it!” said John.

“Come on!  It’s an honor!  I’m your mother! I never see you get honored.  Do it for me!”  said Mom.

“Did we mention that for your $25 you get a premium membership certificate and a lovely booklet describing the academic society’s history and purpose, which makes a lovely souvenir?” said school.

“Fine,” I said, “here is my twenty-five dollars.”

My “premium membership certificate” and “lovely booklet” arrived in the mail today.  For twenty-five dollars, I am now the proud owner of a cheap paper printout with my name spelled incorrectly and a tri-fold pamphlet printed on card stock printed in font so small it is impossible to read.

I want my twenty-five dollars back.

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