If I were more cool, spring break might be filled with tales of doing tequila shots out of someone’s belly button, but this spring break so far has been remarkably free of interesting things to blog about, unless you really want to hear about (1) homeowner’s insurance, (2) carpet pricing or (3) BarBri sign up information.
Mostly, though, I have nothing interesting to report because I have wasted an embarrassing amount of time in the past few days trying to beat Family Feud on virtual NES. So far, I have not even been able to make it to the fast money round. This is because I have to play against a computer family called the Kennedys, a group of 1991-era GENIUSES, who get every single answer right and always steal my money. Every single time.
Case in point: One question asked “how much does a new tv cost?” I correctly guessed $500, $600, $400, $450, $300, $700, $350, $800, $650 and $750 before I reached my three strikes. There was one answer left on the board. The Kennedys had a chance to steal. The remaining answer was $395. The Kennedys guessed it. Bastards.
Another example: “Name a foreign hat.” I guessed beret, fez, sombrero and panama hat before striking out. What one answer did I miss? Turban. Damned non-politically correct questions!
My personal favorite: “Name something that you have been bitten by.” I got all the basics- dog, mosquito, etc. What did I miss? Parrot. PARROT. Who gets bitten by a parrot? How is that one of the top 6 answers on the board? What? The Kennedys, of course, knew that. Jerks.
Let this be a warming: if you are hoping to be productive, do NOT go to virtualNES. com. You could waste your whole spring break that way.