Our mortgage application forms came through, and as John and I were signing our life away on approximately 432 documents, I happened to glance down at the one called “asset summary,” which said:

Borrower one assumed monthly salary (John): [redacted]

Borrower two assumed monthly salary (Pseudo): $1

Well, geez, I knew public interest work isn’t lucrative, but a dollar a month? So glad to see the bank has so much faith in my ability to contribute financially to this marriage.