You might think that the messiest thing that could happen to you on a plane flight would be spilling a drink in your lap, or maybe getting airsick. You would be wrong. The messiest thing that can happen on a plane flight is when the 8 year old child sitting in front of you decides, as an experiment, to vigorously shake a can of Sprite for a minute, then open it. The result? A truly extraordinary spray radius, including (a) the ceiling of the plane, (b) the windows of the plane ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE, (c) my flip-flop clad feet, my jeans, my book, my hair. As the ever-cheerful Southwest flight attendant tried to mop it up while the kid kicked the seat in front of him, unapologetic and oblivious, I swear I heard her mutter through clenched teeth “Jesus Christ, this kid should be tranquilized.”

Oh well, at least his sister’s blankie had the featured a charming musical element that allowed it to play an electronic version of “Jingle Bells” roughly 496 times during the flight.

Anyway, we’re back from California, and there are funny stories to tell, but I’m currently late for work so they’ll have to wait.