SO! It has been a big week for law firm related events, and as a result I have not had time to wash a single dish, read any of my book club book, or pack for the weekend trip we’re leaving on today. Or blog. I’m lucky I’ve squeezed in time to shower, because “smells funny” isn’t really a positive mark on your reviews.

On Wednesday, all the summer associates and a few chosen members of the firm got to go to the United Center to see Madonna. I can say only one thing: holy leotards. This woman looks so impossibly not her age that it’s kind of fascinating. I kept finding myself staring at her in a mix of awe and horror, wondering how many hours of yoga she must do a day and how much botulism toxin she’s had injected into her weirdly smooth forehead. Fortunately, her costumes (there were about a dozen of them) consisted entirely of leotards and tights, lavender and sparkly and paired with purple leggings and all other kinds of combinations that would have made me fiercely jealous as a 5-year old in community center ballet class. Now, 22 years later, I wasn’t jealous of the outfits so much as astonished at how little they left to the imagination. I believe I may, in a fit of bad judgment, have leaned over to our director of HR, who was sitting next to me, and said “shouldn’t she be worried about camel toe?” It was like Madonna was taunting the audience, saying “yeah, I’m almost 50, bitches, but DAMN I am well-preserved.

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