A few months ago, I accidentally joined a fantasy college basketball league and then proceeded to not choose a bracket. Needless to say, I came in last. But it wasn’t that embarassing, because it wasn’t my choices that came in last, it was my technological ineptitutde, which is something I made peace with long ago.

Still, I knew I could do better, so even though I know nothing (truly nothing) about soccer or fantasy sports, I decided like an idiot to accept Blonde’s open invitation to join a fantasy world cup league. Blondie promised that she didn’t know anything about soccer either, so I thought it wouldn’t be a bg deal. I managed to choose a team and (I think) arrange my players in some sort of appropriate formation.

After three days of game play, I have 21 points and an in 202,021st place in North America. Blondie has 77 points. I am exquisitely well-positioned to actually earn my last place finish this time, despite my best efforts to, you know, actually choose a team and stuff. I believe Blonde may have misrepresented her knowledge of soccer. Harrumph.