Instead of panicking about finals (which are alarmingly close,) today I decided to panic about the business casual dress codes at the places where I am working this summer. I am spending the first half of the summer at Law Firm, which has a “business casual” dress code with the emphasis squarely on the “business.” I’m spending the second half of the summer at Child-Loving Non Profit, which also has a “business casual” dress code, but this time with an emphasis on the “hippie non profit child advocates but we’re still lawyers so we can’t really let you wear tie dye to work but do you have some flowy skirts and an gauzy blouses and a slightly edgy haircut because maybe then you’d fit right in with our aesthetic?”

I don’t have the shoes for this.

Since I am not getting paid for the Child-Loving Non Profit portion of this program, I am hesitant to sink too much into a new business casual wardrobe (or, technically, two business casual wardrobes, as what works at Law Firm will almost certainly get me laughed out of town at Child-Loving Non Profit.) I have decided that the perfect pair of shoes to buy would be a nice, well-tailored pair of flats- ballet flats, maybe, or “skimmers”- something without a rubber sole, but also without three inch heels that make me want to walk barefoot across town to save myself another step in agony.

So I went to zappos.com and entered: “color: black, size: 10, height: FLAT” into the search boxes. I shit you not, this is what popped up:

Riiiiiight.

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