Being married means your valentine’s day can look like this:

He gets:
*a new pillow to replace the one forever tainted by The Bloody Nose of 2005
*a new electronic key to open the garage door so his old one with low batteries can be replaced.

She gets:
*an excuse to use that really pretty vase they received as a wedding present.
*a postcard saying “i’m so lucky i married someone so cool.”
*the dishwasher emptied and reloaded with dirty dishes, with no extra nagging.

Note that this list does not include things like “waxy chocolate candy in a cardboard heart shaped box,” “weirdly uncomfortable ‘sexy’ lingerie,” or “trying to get dinner reservations at a swank restaurant where you will be surrounded by other couples, all of you out on a TUESDAY for god’s sake because Hallmark says so.”

Valentine’s Day as married couple: all nice, no pressure. Fab.

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